Dreamlander by K.M. Weiland: Read, Part 5 (Chapters 13-15)

Welcome back to this review and commentary for writers and readers of K.M. Weiland’s Dreamlander, a fantasy where Chris Redston, the Gifted, can cross between our world and the world of dreams. Unfortunately, he’s just made the mistake of a dozen lifetimes and brought back the conquering warlord prophesied to rise again and who promises war.

To catch up or review this read, click here.

Enjoy!

SPOILERS!

Chapter 13

Allara and her party come upon the Koraudians and the Cherazii. Seeing the Cherazii captives and knowing the Gifted is near, they attack. The Cherazi fight as does Chris, but in the midst of the battle Allara realizes that the worst has happened: The Gifted brought back Mactalde. Then Mactalde shoots Chris, and Allara dives into the battle to save him.

Reader Comments: *rubs hands together* So Allara and Chris are about to meet face to  face. This should be good.

Writer Comments: Everything in a story leads to specific turning points in the plot and then, eventually, to the climax. This is a huge turning point of Dreamlander. The hero and heroine of the book are about to meet, and for this to happen, Weiland brings everything together: the Koraudians, Mactalde, Allara, Chris, the Cherazii. Along the many threads that build a plot, there also needs to be neat knots.

Chapter 14

Allara rescues Chris and the Koraudians flee. However, Allara is none too happy with Chris. She explains that the only way to fix what he did is for him to kill Mactalde. He can’t bring him back to his own world because that would rip the fabric between the worlds even further. Chris realizes that, now, every life lost in the war Mactalde intends to start is on his hands. He swears to do everything he can to make things right, but Allara is not ready to believe much good in him.

Reader Comments: It’s going to be a lot of fun when Allara finally reveals all those vulnerabilities she tries to conceal deep inside. Weiland has already hinted in this book that part of the story will be about Allara’s emotional healing, and from the tiny fragments I’m picking up so far, it should be a satisfying journey.

Writer Comments: There is a whole range of POV (point-of-view) options when writing a book. Weiland uses close 3rd in Dreamlander, which happens to be my favorite. In close 3rd, the POV follows only one character’s perspective and closely enough to intimately glimpse that character’s thoughts and emotions. As a result, close 3rd has the same challenge as 1st person POV. It’s difficult to convey the inner world of other characters, especially when those characters hide that world from the POV. Weiland solves this problem by having Chris be perceptive. She specifically hints at Allara’s emotions by having hints of them flash across her face, just enough to intrigue Chris and the reader.

Chapter 15

Chris, Allara, and Quinnon get back on one of the skycars to return to Reon Couteau while Eroll, the Duke of Thyra, gathers men to go after Mactalde. Exhausted and shot, Chris falls asleep on the journey and wakes up in Mactalde’s house in Chicago. While trying to sneak out, he nearly gets shot again by one of Mactalde’s men who comes to kill him. Racing breakneck through the Chicago streets, Chris runs into Mike, his roommate, and Brooke, his roommate’s sister, in their bright orange bug. Out of sheer luck the assassin misses the fact that Chris gets in the car., Mike presses him for information, but Chris dares not tell him. He may not think he’s going crazy anymore, but Mike will surely drop him in a psych ward if Chris confessed all.

Reader Comments: Why do I get the feeling that Brooke is going to cause some major problems for Chris and, likely, while innocently hunting her career creating story. Either that or she’ll get shot or something and give Chris major impetus to do something drastic.

Writer Comments: In fantasy, it’s important to establish the world’s rules for the reader, like guideposts. For this particular setup in Dreamlander, Weiland has a lot of complex building to work through. However, one of the things I really appreciate is how she addresses questions that I as a reader have in the story. For example, why can’t Chris just take Mactalde back? Or what happens to Chris if he is constantly awake in some sense because when he sleeps in one world, he wakes in the other? We do not have all the answers yet, but because Weiland has her protagonist bring them up, as a reader, I’m much happier waiting to find out. If a protagonist or other major character feels the same way or similarly to the reader, the reader is much more likely to generate sympathy and to be patient.

Thank you for joining me for this week’s chapters of K.M. Weiland’s Dreamlander. We’ll resume the story next Monday. Until then, join me again on Friday for further forays into books, fiction, the speculative, and life.

What I Wish I’d Known When I Started Writing

There are a lot of things that might have been useful to know when I first seriously started writing to get published nearly ten years ago. In another ten years, I’m sure I will have many more interesting and useful things that I’ve learned, but for now, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned so far.

• Most editors and agents prefer books that don’t go much above 100,000 words, especially for a new author. There’s some leeway depending on the genre, but much above that, especially toward the 150,000 word range or higher, is a bigger risk for a publisher.

• The average printed page contains 250-300 words depending on the size font. Using this number, you can roughly estimate how many words a book contains. So a 400 page book is around 100,000 thousand words.

• An agent that isn’t a good match for the writer is worse than no agent at all. When I first started querying agents, I queried every single agent that represented anything vaguely related to what I wrote, over 100 agents. Every single one of them rejected me. These days, I have a much narrower list of agents I query to, less than 5. We’ll see in the long run how well this works, but I’ve heard many authors with a lot more experience than me give this advice.

• The majority of writing stories is editing. Initially, most of the fun comes from the initial creation of a story, but to get published requires much more than getting a story onto the page. It requires honing and shaping the story until it’s solid and smooth.

• The best critique partners are those that are at a similar place and with similar desires as each other. I’ve tried out several people as critique partners, and by far, this sort has provided the most satisfying experience.

• It’s best to prepare for lots of rejection. I have received over 150 rejections, and over my career, I will likely receive many, many more. It is part of writing. Much as it stings, it’s best to accept it as quickly as possible.

• Be prepared for it to take longer than you think. I’ve been writing stories since I was a small child. I’ve focused on writing for the purpose of building a publishing career since the end of 2004, dabbling in career building since 2002. My first book came out this year, March 2013. Dean Koontz published nearly 40 novels before he hit it big. Most authors do not strike the jackpot right away. Be prepared to put in lots of hours and, likely, years.

• Determination and hard work are more important than skill or talent. Skill can be learned. Talent is wasted if not used. Only perseverance can bring you to the point where skill, talent, and luck can create something great.

• Connect with other writers at various levels. Writing is a lonely business. Other writers and people who understand writers make it less so.

For all you other writers out there, what other things have you learned that would have been useful to know when you started your writing career?

Dreamlander by K.M. Weiland: Read, Part 4 (Chapters 10-12)

I hope everyone had a good Mother’s Day and a great weekend.

Welcome back to our read of Dreamlander by K.M. Weiland. When last we left Chris Redston, the man who can cross between our world and the world of dream, he had taken his place as the Gifted, sort of. He doesn’t want the honor, and he’s first on everyone’s list to acquire, including Rotoss, a brutal military leader who wants nothing more than to resurrect his dead leader, Mactalde. Only Chris with help from the Orimere, a magical stone, can bring Mactalde back into the dream world, but to do that might bring horrendous disaster.

To catch up or review this commentary for readers and writers, click here.

Enjoy!

SPOILERS!

Chapter 10

After Orias rides off to fight for his people, the Cherazii, Chris races after on his lumbering pony with little idea how to defend himself or what to expect. He encounters Koraudian soldiers and survives only because Orias yells for them to stop moments before they plunge swords into Chris’s heart. Rotoss tells Chris that the way to stop the dreams is to use the Orimere to bring back Mactalde. Pitch insists that this is the worst thing Chris can do, but Orias encourages Chris and declares that doing so will save his people. In the end, despite his doubts, Chris agrees. After all, none of it is real. It’s all just a twisted, insane figment of his warped mind. No one will really get hurt.

Reader Comments: No, Chris! Don’t do it! Hmm, that line might be a forming pattern response to this book. I totally understand why Chris is making this decision, but I want to throttle him. At the very least, it should make for an interesting plot. Allara is going to kill him when she finally finds him.

Writer Comments: Chapter endings are very important. They must end in such a way that it encourages the reader to keep reading. This is the last line of chapter ten, “As his head sank back to the ground, he caught one last glimpse of Orias’s face. The pale white of his skin blurred and ran like wet paint.” This chapter does not conclude on some epic action scene or a literal hanging over the cliff. Rather, it concludes with a disturbing and haunting image and the knowledge that the hero is making a terrible mistake. Overall, the encouragement to read on comes from the desperate hope that Chris will realize his error and fix it.

But it’s this last image that, for me, most captivates. We know that Orias’s face is not literally running. This illusion is because of the knockout drug Rotoss gives Chris so that he can sleep and bring back Mactalde. However, the image is filled with implications. It’s distorted and disturbed like what’s happened in the book, but further, it implies an undercurrent of emotion to Orias that Chris glimpses at the last moment. For all Orias is working against all he knows is right and good to save his people, inside, he grieves for what he is unleashing upon the world, and that pain drives us into the next chapter along with our concern over Chris’s decisions.

Chapter 11

Chris wakes in an opulent home on the shore of Lake Michigan with a pounding headache. It was all a dream. He says as much until he sees that the clothes he wore in that dream and the Orimere are with him in the real world. A Dr. Mactalde, Harrison’s therapist, enters and offers his aid and sympathies. He can help the dreams go away. After all, Harrison and Chris share the same delusions. Chris hesitates, but he has to talk to someone. He has to keep from going insane. Mactalde suggests that, however bizarre it may seem, the simplest way to get past the delusion is to satisfy what his brain desire. If it says he must bring the doctor into this dream world, they can pretend, and perhaps it will be enough to release Chris from the nightmares. Chris does so, and just as he’s falling asleep begins to wonder if, perhaps, this is not a good idea after all.

Reader Comments: Mactalde is scum. He reeks of manipulation and I hope he suffers tremendously. Weiland does a great job of characterizing him in this chapter. I cannot wait to see him defeated. I sure hope Chris realizes quickly his error and fixes it.

Writer Comments: Oftentimes the best thing to do in a story is the worst possible thing. What is the worst possible thing Chris can do? Bring Mactalde into the dream world. Yet he does just that. Weiland makes it work because she gives Chris a lot of sympathy, and even while we scream at him to stop, we understand why he makes the choices he makes. After all, were we in that position, we too would want to grasp at anything to end the nightmares and keep from going crazy. Once the worst happens, the stakes are high enough to create a tale of truly epic proportions.

Chapter 12

Chris wakes again in the dream world, and this time, Mactalde is there too. It worked, all of it, and Chris now no longer can insist that it isn’t real. Realizing he’s been betrayed, he refuses to join forces with Mactalde, but the Cherazii will kill him the second they have a chance. The only one who believes anything good of him is Pitch, his Riever captor, who believes that, somehow, Chris will make it right.

Reader Comments: For that alone, Pitch is an awesome character. Pure and simple faith in goodness is a precious gift. Perhaps Pitch has it because he has nothing else left, but it’s still endearing.

Writer Comments: Weiland has just had Chris bring about the worst possible circumstances. Mactalde will now march on the people of Lael with vengeance and the eye of a conqueror. I shudder to think what the death toll will be by the end. Plus, Chris is likely to die in the very near future, and if Allara finds him before his imminent demise, she’s likely to figuratively kill him as well. What hope is there? There is one hope, and Weiland, after ripping the ground out from under our and Chris’s feet, kindly gives it to us in the words of Pitch. Perhaps, somehow despite all odds, Chris’s good heart will find a way to make things right. We know Chris has a good heart after seeing him in earlier chapters, and so, with that glimmer of hope against horrendous odds, we read on to see how Chris can possibly turn this around. When, as a writer, you shove the biggest bolder of the cliff to crush the heroes, make certain that, before it’s over, the readers see that glimmer of hope.

Thank you for joining me for today’s chapters of Dreamlander by K.M. Weiland. Join me next Monday to see how Chris survives and fully understand just how bad things are about to get. Until then, I’ll see you back on Friday for further forays into books, fiction, the speculative, and life.

Self-Editing Tips

Right now, I’m in the middle of edits on two separate books, both of which I hope to query in June. When I first started editing my own work, a necessity if I wanted a professional editor to take me seriously, it was utterly daunting. I had little idea what I was doing. Now, though, books later, I’ve learned a few helpful techniques that I thought I’d pass down to you, dear readers. These can be applied to any length of fiction or can be modified for non-fiction.

1. Give yourself distance. This usually means taking at least a couple weeks away from a work. No touching it. No checking on it. No nothing. Put it away, close every file you have on it, and work on something else. For shorter works, I give myself at least a week. For longer, I try for a minimum of two weeks, but I prefer a month of time off.

The reason this is so necessary is that, when editing, it is essential to gain as close of a perspective to your readers as possible. This is frankly impossible, but we need to try our best. As the writer who knows everything, our brains play tricks on us and fill in details that may not actually be there. Or, because we know everything, we miss gaps in structure or characterization. Readers do not have the luxury of knowing all the secrets, motivations, and so forth that the writer knows. They have only the words written on the page.

2. Break it down. Never try to edit everything at once. That is a recipe for disaster. Assuming you survive the stress without some sort of breakdown or major confidence crisis, it’s extremely difficult to look for all the things that need attention all at once. It would be like trying to cook a grand dinner with seventy-two dishes all alone in less than an hour and with the Queen of England waiting outside to taste it and give her opinion. Something will burn. Something will boil over. Many somethings will be forgotten or missed. And the queen will not likely return for a second meal.

I recommend dividing all the things that need editing into categories. When I edit, I look for big things first like plot structure, characterization, and generally that the story makes sense from one end to the other. I don’t worry about anything else when I go through this first edit. That doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally fix a glaring typo or knock out a being verb, but I don’t focus on those things.

Here are a few more examples of things you might group together for a single read through:

Heroic qualities of characters, description, dialogue, narration

Incorporating all critiques and beta comments and recommendations that I agree with.

Filler words, being verbs, and excessive adverbs.

3. Read it backwards. This may sound a little crazy, but as long as you’re looking at line edit type changes like eliminating as many being verbs as possible, it’s helpful to start at the end and work your way to the beginning sentence by sentence or paragraph by paragraph. This technique keeps the story from drawing you in enough that you forget to look for whatever it is you’re looking for.

4. Accept the imperfections. This doesn’t mean only give 75% of your best. What it does mean is that there will always be something that gets missed. No matter how many times I’ve gone over a manuscript, I always find a typo, wording that makes me cringe, or a punctuation error. It’s the tricks our eyes and mind play when we read. They fill in what isn’t there sometimes. This very reason is why we have critique partners, beta readers, and editors to help catch those little things.

5. Print it. Do this at least once toward the end of edits. We read differently on a screen than we do off paper, and the difference will help us catch errors. Another way to do this at other stages of editing is to alter the font color and/or style. Just make certain that it is still easily readable.

6. Read it out loud. When I first heard this bit of advice, I confess I was a bit uncomfortable with it. If I read out loud it would be, well, out loud. People might hear me. Why is reading the story out loud so important in editing? It accomplishes a great many things that you can never manage just going over a manuscript visually.

First, your mouth has a much more difficult time fooling you into believing something is on the page when it’s not than your eyes. If I wrote a sentence like this, “The ghost slipped between the cracks in door to escape the fighting she had heard all her life,” I might miss the fact that the article is missing before “door,” either because my mind provides it because I expect it to be there or because I’ve already combed through two hundred pages and am tired. My mouth, however, will probably stumble over that part of the sentence and bring the error to my attention.

Second, reading aloud lets you hear the cadence of the story. If it is broken without a good reason, you will hear it. Further, sentences that look perfectly acceptable on the page may be far too much of a mouthful to get out without stumbling in speech. If your book reaches success, there might be an audio version or someone might read it aloud to someone else. If you are fortunate enough for that to happen, you want it to be as pleasing on the ears as it is on the eyes.

And last, reading aloud is good practice for those times when you might need to read your work in public. It helps build confidence. Plus, hearing your work is yet another tool to help improve skill and precision in the craft.

7. Decide on a stoping point BEFORE you begin. This is essential because, otherwise, you give yourself the right to go over a story endlessly. It will never get published, you will not improve your skill, and other great stories inside you will not get written if the story is forever in edits. Besides, acknowledging that it can never be truly flawless, this gives you a point when you know you are done.

I hope you have found these techniques helpful. What do you do to make editing a project manageable?

Make sure to swing my Monday to learn more from K.M. Weiland’s book, Dreamlander.

For more help on self-editing: check out the self-editing class notes on Candace Havens’s Write_Workshop or try Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: How to Edit Yourself into Print by Renni Browne and Dave King.

Dreamlander by K.M. Weiland: Read, Part 3 (Chapters 7-9)

Welcome back to our read of K.M. Weiland’s Dreamlander, her fantasy novel about Chris, a man who can pass from our world to the world of his dreams.

To catch up or review previous chapters of this read for writers and reader, click here.

Enjoy!

SPOILERS!

Chapter 7

Orias takes Chris to the Cherazii camp nearby where he acquires permission to take him away. There, Pitch, the Riever  who claimed Chris, proclaims him his servant before all. The Koraudians draw near, and, if they attack the caravan, will have no mercy. But Orias has little choice but to follow his duty and protect Chris until the reach the Searcher.

Reader Comments: I like how Weiland thought through and addresses some of the logic leaps about a man crossing between the worlds. Some of his skill in daily tasks, like butchering an animal, and in fighting apparently are ingrained through muscle memory. His mind may not recall life in this new world, but his body, which has been there all along, does. This makes me terribly curious about who the man was who initially inhabited the body. Was that Chris too? What happened to him? It will be interesting to see the answers to such questions unfold as the tale progresses.

Writer Comments: In one of my favorite writing craft books, Writing the Breakout Novel, Donald Maass advises giving characters two mutually exclusive goals that drive them. The character cannot succeed at both. Weiland does this beautifully with Orias. On the one hand, his duty and the world demand he guard Chris and take him quickly to Allara, the Searcher. On the other, his people are in severe peril from the Koraudians coming across the border to kill them. Everything in him declares that he must defend them too, but he dare not allow Chris anywhere the Koraudians might get him. Because Weiland so skillfully and believably gives Orias these conflicting desires, he’s extremely compelling. I would read a whole book just about him.

Chapter 8

Allara and her party stop at Thyra Junction, the skycar hub of her world. The guards get off to help the Cherazii, and on the advice of Eroll Leighton, Lord of Thyra, she too decides to disembark. With Koraudians in the Thyra Hills, she cannot afford to risk the Gifted ending up in the wrong hands. Eroll, her only real friend, decides to travel with her.

Reader Comments: Eroll seems like a fun guy. I can see how he loves Allara, even beneath his frippery. Hmm, I wonder if he’ll be a competing romantic interest.

Writer Comments: This chapter is chock full of foreshadowing. As I technically have read a few chapters beyond this point, I see it now. Previously, on my first read of this chapter, I did not even realize how many hints Weiland drops of things yet to come. For more on foreshadowing, check out Weiland’s recent post. She gives an excellent breakdown of how to skillfully foreshadow.

Chapter 9

Orias hears the sounds of the Koraudian’s attacking the Cherazii camp. Commanding Chris to remain where he is, he spins and rides back to help. But he’s too late. The Koraudians and their leader, Rotoss, head henchman of Mactalde, have already overwhelmed the Cherazii. They capture Orias and threaten to systematically kill women and children until he gives them the Gifted and the orimere. On the other hand, if he helps them, Rotoss promises to let all the Cherazii live. After watching his people suffer for twenty years, Orias can no longer unflinchingly follow the paths of honor and tradition. In exchange for his people, he agrees to help Rotoss acquire Chris and the orimere. Essentially, he agrees to aid them in returning Mactalde, the worst of their enemies, from the dead.

Reader Comments: No, Orias! Don’t do it! It breaks my heart to see Orias betray all that is good, but Weiland writes his motivations so well that I completely understand why he makes this choice. Still, it’s going to bring truly terrible things upon the world. I do hope Orias survives long enough to make up for this tremendous error, and beyond that, I will say that this is one of my favorite things to explore in fiction: What makes a good man get involved in terrible things? Where is that line between good and bad, honor and need? The gray is a fascinating place, and Weiland’s exploration of it makes me all the more enthusiastic as a reader.

Writer Comments: Almost all fantasy settings are at least somewhat based off of real world periods and cultures. Weiland’s has a strong Renaissance flair. She drops in little details to solidify this, and readers fill in the gaps. Here are a few example details: the presence of guns, feathered hats, basket hilts. The settling has a hint of Three Musketeers to it. Picking a real world time or place can help a reader fill in details an author leaves out for the purpose of not bogging down in scene setting. This is not necessary, of course, but it is a tool to keep in mind.

Thank you for joining me today for these chapters of K.M. Weiland’s Dreamlander. The story is getting complex and compelling, so make sure to swing back by next Monday to find out just how bad things are going to get for Chris, Orias, and Allara. Until then, I’ll see you all on Friday for further forays into books, fiction, the speculative, and life.

Beware of Storyteller’s Prejudice

Every culture, every time, every person carries them without even realizing: preconceptions, assumptions, prejudice. What most of us forget is that they color how we experience, interact with, and mold the world around us. We cannot fully escape them. They are as much a part of us as the blood in our veins. Oh, they are somewhat fluid. They can alter over time, but to be without these is to be without experience or individuality. It is to be without culture, heritage, or self.

So what do we do when--and it will happen no matter how hard we try--prejudice and assumption impact our storytelling?

The most important preventative is to be aware that all the opinions, views, thoughts, emotions, and so forth that we have acquired through life are subjective and filter into our stories. This post’s intent is neither to argue over truth nor judge good from bad, so I’m not even going to go there. What’s important to remember, however, is that whatever each of us thinks, someone somewhere believes the opposite so ardently that it is truth to them.

Prejudice, assumption, and opinions, I believe, show up most in three main areas that are integral to fiction:

1. Gender: Men and women perceive each other differently. Their opinions and modes of interaction and relation alter over time and geography. They alter even within the same household. Whether you are male or female, you have preconceived notions of your gender and the opposite gender. Be aware of these as much as you can. Otherwise, your 16th century lady might sound an awful lot like a 21st century businesswoman.

2. Age: Whether it’s childhood, adolescence, adulthood, or the elderly, our stereotypes impact our impressions of people in and outside our age category. Look at yourself as an example. Do you view six-year-olds now the same way you viewed them when you were in kindergarten and they were your peers? And beyond this, again, culture plays a major role. In some times and places, the elderly were revered. In others, they are, sadly, simply a burden.

3. Culture: There are and have been and will be more cultures than we could ever count. Each possesses its own mores, fashion, habits, beliefs, gestures, and so on. Each tends to think that it has it “right.” Individuals may vary, of course, but overall, this tends to be true. (If you disagree with me, there’s another example of personal differences in perceptions.) Consider how a Hawaiian from a hundred years ago would view modern day New York City. Consider how we might respond to true Vikings (and no, I don’t mean the fictional horned helm variety) or the Aztecs, how a boy from Azerbaijan might react to modern America. Taking this into the realm of fiction, what might a hobbit think of present day London?

Bringing this around to storytelling, it’s natural to infuse ourselves, especially these parts, into characters and worlds we create for our stories. After all, it is what we know, and aren’t we supposed to write what we know? Yes, to some extent, but if we only write what we know, exactly as we know it, our stories would look too similar and lose whatever luster initially made them appealing. Rather, why not reach deeper, reach beyond ourselves, beyond what is known and comfortable, and tell a story influenced by our experience but not fully reflecting it? After all, writing is in part an exploration of self, the world, and humanity. If we do not reach beyond ourselves, we will become stunted and bland.

The most important protection a writer possesses is awareness. Once we know a prejudice or assumption, we then take the power to include or exclude it in our fiction. Notice I said that we can include or exclude. Just because we hold a prejudice or assumption does not mean that it is “bad.” Rather, they can paint a story with rich hues if done artfully and intentionally.

However, few people enjoy reading historical fiction weighed down with modern culture and thinking. Few like science fiction that does not break the bounds, or at least push them, of the world and mindsets of today. When we read about Ireland or South Africa, we want to feel the difference between there and what we’re used to experiencing in our humdrum lives and locals. 

All this means that, in addition to becoming aware of our own prejudices, assumptions, and beliefs, we must also become familiar with those of the cultures and individuals we write about. Their zeitgeist, if you will. What Old West story would work if the majority of characters did not on some level believe in Manifest Destiny? If a character in such a story did not, an intriguing plot could develop. The unusualness of the belief would fascinate, but a writer could not capitalize on such a treasure trove of story possibilities without being aware of the Old West zeitgeist.

So when you write, pay attention to what parts of your personal opinions, beliefs, and prejudices leak into the story. Use them to mold something compelling and great rather than allowing them to mold your story into something you may not even be aware of making.

Dreamlander by K.M. Weiland: Read, Part 2 (Chapters 4-6)

Welcome back to our read of K.M. Weiland’s Dreamlander. When last we left Chris, a strange man had started stalking him, a man who knew things about Chris’s dreams that Chris had never told anyone. In the world on the other side of dream, Allara was trying her utmost to keep Chris from crossing over and destroying her world anew.

To catch up or review this commentary for readers and writers, click here.

Enjoy!

SPOILERS!

Chapter 4

Chris drives to Harrison’s ramshackle house in a sketchy part of town. There, Harrison tries to convince him that together they can rule the world on the other side of dream. Chris doesn’t buy any of it. He’s certain he’s going mad. That’s all. As he leaves, a black truck drives by and someone inside shoots Harrison dead in the chest. After dealing with the police, Chris walks away and is clubbed over the head.

Reader Comments: Yep, Harrison seems more than a bit insane. I can totally sympathize with Chris here. At the same time, boy is Chris in for a surprise when he does cross.

Writer Comments: One of the challenges in a story that simultaneously takes place in two different worlds or in two different parts of the world is that continuity between places and plots must be established swiftly. Weiland does this well. In every chapter, both worlds get mentioned, and as the plot begins to truly unfurl, we learn more and more of the connections.

Chapter 5

Chris wakes in the other world and finds himself the prisoner of Pitch, a tiny humanoid creature. Then he meets Orias, a very large man-like Cherazim and the Keeper of the Orimere. Orias recognizes Chris as the Gifted and gives him the Orimere, an egg-like object only the Gifted has the power to wield. As a Gifted, whenever Chris sleeps, the stone and all he touches will cross the worlds with him. Despite the vivid reality around him, Chris is still firmly convinced that it’s all a hallucination.

Reader Comments: Orias is awesome. I love the quiet nobility about him.

Writer Comments: This chapter contains the language of Cherazii that Pitch and his companions speak. Made up languages are tricky but common enough in fantasy. The best sound natural and believable. It looks as though Weiland invented her own language for Dreamlander; however, she clearly gave it a lot of thought and kept to basic linguistic principles. Like most languages, the majority of Cherazii words are shorter rather than longer. Also, she repeats certain words in certain ways that suggests she gave thought to word order and grammar. Giving an invented language qualities like a real language goes a long way toward believability. Also, as a reader, I appreciated her not translating everything because there’s no way Chris would know what was being said.

Chapter 6

Allara senses Chris the moment he crosses over into her world. His presence invades her mind and upsets her inner balance. And it fills her with dread. Swiftly, she assembles her companions, mainly Captain Quinnon, to help her track down the Gifted. This time, she senses that he is far nearer than Harrison had been the first time a Gifted crossed in her lifetime. However, before departing, a Cherazim youth arrives with the frightful news that Koraudians are attacking Cherazii inside the Lael border, virtually an act of war.

Reader Comments: Oh, how cool that Chris’s presence actually impacts Allara’s mind. It sounds a bit like empathy or perhaps the Warder bond in Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time series. As a reader who loves to have romance in her books, I hope there’s a bit between Allara and Chirs, but in either case, this bond should make things interesting.

Writer Comments: This chapter carries an undercurrent of activity and urgency. This comes in part from Allara’s emotions and what she tells readers through her internals and narration. However, there’s another little trick that Weiland employs. Nearly constantly in this chapter, she literally describes things and people in motion. Contrasted to this are rarer moments of stillness. At the opening, Allara is very still, yet her mind reels. These elements help add to the chapter’s swiftness and urgency.

Thank you for joining me for today’s chapters from K.M. Weiland’s Dreamlander. We’ll resume the story next Monday. Until then, make sure to swing back by on Friday for further forays into fiction, books, the speculative, and life.